Dear Doulas and Open Hearted Birth Professionals,

When you complete a project or a goal, do you give yourself enough praise and rewards?  Or are you (like me) just going on to the next thing on your list?  

In speaking with a life coach friend, they pointed out that one of the possible sources of negativity in my life may be that I don't actually SEE the positive things I have done. If I really stopped and honored myself and took that in, like smelling a blooming rose bush over and over, I might realize that most things aren't worth worrying about. Or at least I would be able to balance out the bad with the good. 

"If you treated your accomplishment like a beautiful sunset or a bloom on a plant you've been babying for weeks, I think you'd see yourself differently too. Just try it, see what happens."  

My friend is observant. They know all about my challenges to get a violet to bloom or keep the 26 succulents I bought last December alive. (I'm down to 14 but I'm awfully proud they're alive and growing.) For some reason I can appreciate something that I've helped to happen but not when it's mostly me. Sound familiar?  I don't think I'm alone in this, especially here in the American Midwest. 

So, this week I sent my first book to the publisher and the last list of "to-do" items to my website designer.  My second e-book on certification is almost completed. What did I do after all that?  Read two science journal articles for book #3 and made dinner. 

Sigh.

The next day I told my assistant and she insisted we do a group "happy dance".  She whooped and high fived me for what felt like ten minutes.  I was so uncomfortable I wanted to pass out - even though it was only the two of us. I looked out the window at the fuchsia and hibiscus plants I'd kept alive through the Wisconsin winter and took a deep breath. I smiled back at my assistant and took in her joy and happiness for me.  

It wasn't easy but it does feel like healing in a way. With a friend I would act just like my assistant did with me.  Maybe that's the key - being a friend to myself too.

May you also be a good friend to yourself.